I am a single mother of a 3 1/2 yr old little girl. I was never married, but did live with the father for almost 3 years, till J. was 2 1/2. I was abused physically, emotionally and mentally and J. either shared this abuse or witnessed it, as she was always with me. He said he paid the bills so he was “not a babysitter” He often watched porn when J. was in bed with him, locking me out of the bedroom. I used a screwdriver to get in (how I found out), He threw us out on the street in July 2003, after I called the police to report his abuse, taking my vehicle and my phone. J. and I had roller blades and a broken jog stroller for transportation. He did provide periodic support during the months that followed as long as I slept with him, and spent nights at his house with J.
The first time share/support judgment was made on June 16th 2004, without my knowledge or presence, giving my baby’s abusive father (never married or helped me with any child care), 41% visitation. This is a temporary “agreement”. Judge Korda then assigned us to a guardian-ad-litem, Mr. K. Mr. K. interviewed me and the father separately, and then together. The father had an abusive rage during the dual interview. Mr. K never mentioned this in his initial report, only that my abuse allegations were unfounded as there had been no physical marks in my daughter’s exam. He only contacted 2 of my 35 witnesses, yet he contacted all 7 of the Father’s (only 1 of whom knows me). He ignores all of my emails, yet he forwards them to the other party, and regularly speaks with him on the phone. I know this, as I am billed for 25% of his services. Father has not paid any of his share as of yet.
Mr. K wrote outright lies about me in his initial report to Judge Korda, that I claimed to be an alcoholic who still drank (I never drink, and have provided, now, at least 30 witnesses to this.). He made no mention of any reported physical abuse of myself or my daughter, nor did he mention the rage towards me that the father exhibited during our group session. He made no mention of the fact that I have yet to recieve my full court ordered child support, or had my daughter returned to me, as the “agreement” orders. He claimed that “both parents were extremely emotionally reactive” He also mentioned that the father was “driven to tears” during his interview. I was astounded to see that he wrote that I had been investigated by police for drug use!!! There is absolutely no evidence anywhere to substantiate this. I have never had any type of police record, unsubstantiated or not, for any illegal behavior.
When I confronted Mr. K with this drinking/drug allegation (after Judge Korda had read it and denied my motion to vacate the “agreement” made without my consent), he was very rude, shrugged it off, offered to possibly rewrite a report, then suggested that I was a victim of childhood abuse, causing me to make such allegations against my ex. He insisted that my ex was an excellent father, that I was possibly “bothering him, trying to renew the relationship”, and refused to make any further calls to my witnesses, (who will certainly prove this to be untrue), as he was “tired of it”. I have numerous witnesses to both the abuse and the fact that my ex now stalks me at home, work and church (often with my daughter in the car).
Recently my witnesses have begun to call Mr. K, themselves. One (my boss) reported that the father was seen stalking me at work. Mr. K ignored this completely, and went on to ask her if she had ever seen me drink!
The second witness reported to me that Mr. K told her “I was a liar”. The only person in my life who has ever called me a “liar” is J.’s father….as long as I have known him he has accused me of lying about my whereabouts, his being J.’s father, my being with various other men, especially ex boyfriends etc. I am not a liar or a cheater, have never had that nature, couldn’t even be a sales person, I’m so bad at it.
My 3 1/2 year old daughter is very intelligent and speaks very well. She tells me that “daddy says my pee pee is pretty” and “rubbing it means, I love you.” She is always scared and distant when she returns from her visits with daddy, says “daddy says I’m a bad mommy and he takes her to my work (Gyms) and my (our) church” She has constant rashes around her genital area, although she has been potty trained for over 8 months.