My name is Miranda. My Gag order prevents me from speaking of my divorce case however; I can talk about our incredibly broken system: The foster care system, court system, domestic violence.
I think foster care is needed for many children. Bless those that have the patience and those that are taking children into their homes and caring for them out of the goodness of their hearts…. Unfortunately, I don’t think that is always the case. More and more children are dying and getting lost in the system. The money generated through foster care is giant. The average monthly payment for non special needs children in the U.S. is approximately $600.00 a month. In the state of Ohio each county sets its own minimum per diem (day) rates, which can go as high as $118.00 per day. This was very easy information to find online as fostering children seems to be promoted by using money as a motive. Children in the foster care system who are “high needs” garner a higher monthly payment. Just think if someone had three kids let’s say average $600 per head. That’s on the low end of the scale. Some people who are fostering these kids are pedophiles, abusers, murders. They are eligible for food stamps, government assistance, section 8 housing. Who is checking on these kids? Sadly, children that are part of the system came from homes of abuse and neglect so they are the vulnerable of society. Who did the background check on the person cashing the check? It’s a scam, and the system is part of it. Every day we lose children to the system and nobody is looking.
Domestic violence in the courtroom. Most women having to deal with any kind of domestic violence situation in a high conflict divorce are dealing with a type of personality disorder. Psychopaths, narcissists, sociopaths they all tend to be very cunning and manipulative and like to spend money. These abusers always go for the children and for some, profiting off of these types of personalities is becoming prevalent throughout our courtrooms. Once again, our children are being pimped out by the system and those that abuse their power and it’s destroying families. Greed and corruption is rampant and our children are suffering. High Conflict Divorce is more susceptible to violence. Family courts pit couples against each other- especially in high conflict divorce cases. According to an Associated Press article, the costs of divorce vary depending on the process you use. Mediation is the least expensive option, at a typical cost of $6,600. Collaborative law costs an average $19,723 while full scale divorce litigation average $77,746. I know my divorce was much more than that. And that was in a small southern town where the lawyers ate breakfast every morning together at the local diner. I cannot speak of my case as I am under a Gag order (they wanted to make sure that I was kept silent) however, I will tell you from my experience in the courtroom the hurdles mothers go through to protect their children are unreal and how some people profit greatly off of absolute tragedy. Most women that leave the abusers have little or no money. The first thing an abuser almost always does is cut the woman off financially then immediately go for the children. Abusers want full control and will “at all costs” want to maintain it and there are some sick individuals (attorneys) that bank off of this type of personality. The effects this kind of greed in the court room causes to children and parents is devastating. Some lawyers will do anything for their clients as the more they play the abusers game, the more they get paid. It turns into a circus and the clown with the most money gets the child. It is a sad time we live in where children are a commodity. They are being trafficked through the system and the highest bidder wins.
Some unfortunate women after years of enduring domestic violence end up losing custody to the batterers who abused them, due to lack of funds and corrupt, greedy attorneys who take advantage of these personality types. In these cases, batterers have made good on their threat to attack their ex-partner in the place she is the most vulnerable—by taking her children away from her. After separation, these batterers continue to wage their campaign of manipulation and abuse by attempting to convince the children that their mothers never loved them. This type of abuse is the killer for the woman. Taking her children and placing them in the custody of the abuser is catastrophic. This allows the abuser to maintain his control and continue the abuse. It is the most heart breaking feeling. This kind of loss is unimaginable and now the woman spends every day being abused, re-abused, tormented, as this is what the abuser paid for. This behavior is almost impossible to present in the court room as the abusers have already primed their attorneys to keep the abuse ongoing and the triangle of professionals needed to present a case of alienation is very costly. The attorneys become legal paid thugs. The children are weapons for the abuser and the attorneys become the guns. The woman is tormented daily as the abuser has the ultimate weapon against the mother, he has the children. The perpetrator’s main motivation is to hurt his ex; whether or not his own child is harmed in the process is irrelevant to him. His goal is to continue to abuse the mother as this is his power. The abuser will never stop until intervention takes place and unfortunately, due to finances, children will always be trafficked through the system until due process rights are not being denied to those that cannot afford the tens, sometimes hundreds of thousands of dollars that it takes to go up against their abusers.
Recording devices are illegal in the court room. If a person wanted a transcript from the day’s events these documents can run into thousands of dollars, that’s per hearing. When dealing with abusers in the court room they can be very manipulating, pathological liars, so in most cases it is imperative that records be obtained. The abuser most likely can afford all that is needed in a case while the one without finances cannot. If recording was allowed I would think it would keep honesty in the court room and put an end to corruption. That would also mean that the greedy would lose out if they were forced to play fair. It only makes sense that recording devices be made mandatory in the court room; however, there are too many dishonest people who would prevent this from happening.
Legal aid services I found, would not take on my case. In fact, most family court cases you cannot get pro bono help. Pro Bono help is for those that are not part of the family court system so domestic violence survivors are not afforded the luxury of pro bono assistance. Just imagine being a single woman going up against her abuser in an already intimidating situation. It is she up against the abuser and his (or her, women can be abusers as well) paid attorneys who are most likely pit bulls as these are the types of attorneys the abuser looks for. A paid thug. How does one expect a self litigant to perform as needed in an environment such as this?
When going to the FBI or the IRS I have learned that you pretty much have to present the case to them as if you were a prosecuting attorney. The FBI and IRS do not want to get involved with domestic violence situations nor do they have the time. Most likely when divorcing certain types of personalities, the abuser will commit several criminal acts including but not limited to fraud, forgery, tax evasion, mortgage fraud and when presenting to the professional in our government, if you do not present your complaint as if you paid a fortune to someone who knows and understands the law, they will throw out any and all complaints. Corruption is so rampant throughout our system that the crimes I speak of are not listened to, they will not be heard as domestic violence survivors have to face an array of battles against their abusers and most likely did not present their complaints in a way that would be suitable for our government. Basically, if you don’t hand them over an already prepared and ready to go case, you will not be heard. Corruptions rampant get in line.
For women who have the courage to leave their abuser they should be greeted with encouragement, open arms and have the help and resources to be able to seek safety and refuge from their abusers however, this scenario is not factual. Women who leave abusers are often ridiculed, not believed, threatened and intimidated. This system has shown to further abuse, re-victimize and harm children and families as domestic violence has become a booming business and those with greater finances will always win.
Our children are being bought and sold every day. They are trafficked through the system and placed in the hands of violent criminals, child molesters and abusers and some people are profiting from this. It’s a scam, it’s all a scam. Things have got to change. The most vulnerable of society are being lost.